Everywhere

WARNING: This is a tribute to Teletubbies Everywhere, a series which encourages early learning concepts through simple narration, colourful characters and relaxing, happy music. Not only is it that, it’s also a tribute to BBC children’s programming and the classic Watch With Mother slot in honour of its 100th birthday, which happened last month. Happy birthday, BBC, you’re more than welcome to help us play and learn…EVEN IF CBBC HAS GONE DOWNHILL, AND SO HAS SCREAM STREET!!!

This episode of Bluey is called Ever/y//#////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// .

It’s Time To Learn With Sophie & Friends

Hosted By Chilli

(A proud loving dog mother)

Starring:

Sophie, and her monster siblings:

Luke

Resus

Cleo

And Dig, the wonder half-dog.

Also starring:

Honey and Chloe

(Two lucky young volunteers)

Produced by:

The BBC

“Hello, children. I’m your host for today, Mrs Chilli Heeler. Today, we’re going to have fun learning with a young girl called Sophie and her monster siblings. Each segment in the programme focuses on an educational concept that’s of importance to children your age, and I’m going to show you lots of fantasies and pieces of art I made earlier to make your time at home learning a lot more fun. First, let’s meet Sophie and her siblings. Make sure to say hello to them as you go. Sophie…”

“Hello!”

“Luke…”

“Hi!”

“Resus…”

“Hey there!”

“And Cleo.”

“Hello!”

Wuff, wuff, wuff!

“And who’s this?”

“Dig!”

“That’s right, it’s Dig, the wonder half-dog, their treasured pet. Now that we’ve met them, let’s get on with the learning, shall we? Let’s start with a bit of counting. To make things simple, we’ll start by counting up to 4. I’ve got some number cards right here on my desk. Four numbers. All the way up to four. Let’s count up to four altogether. 1…2…3…4. And again. 1….2…3…4. Very good! Now, I have here on this desk a piece of green sugar paper with four drawn pictures of Dig on it. However, four Digs isn’t enough. We only want one Dig. One Dig, the proper number, so if we take three away, that makes one. Great! Now, let’s use our imaginations to bring this scene to life. Follow along and try to see how many Digs I’m counting.

There we go: a green piece of paper. Now, how many Digs can you see on screen?

1 Dig.

2 Digs.

3 Digs.

4 Digs.

We counted: 4 Digs! Hello, Digs!”

Wuff, wuff, wuff!

“Now, let’s count backwards from four. If you haven’t counted backwards before, imagine you’re adopting one of these Digs from an animal shelter. Ready?

4 Digs.

3 Digs.

2 Digs.

1 Dig.”

Wuff, wuff, wuff!

“Goodbye, Dig! This counting business has been sorted, and you have a great imagination there. We’ll learn about shapes next. This is a blue piece of sugar paper, lying right there on my desk. However, it hasn’t been drawn on yet. Who is going to draw on it this time? Let’s imagine the blue sugar paper is life-sized.

There we go. Look! Here comes Sophie!”

“Hi!”

“She’s going to draw a shape for us. Can you guess what it is?”

“And how am I going to draw that?”

“Your feet. They leak paint, of course!”

SPLAT!

“Oh! I never knew I could be a human paintbrush. Here we go!”

….

“Ta-da! Oh….oh…uh oh. Is it me, am I embarrassed or do I need the toilet? Mrs Narrator, I need the toilet!”

“Is this supposed to happen on kids’ TV?”

BANDIT: “Yes, sweetheart, toilet jokes are meant to happen!”

“Oh. Alright then. So, you may go, Sophie. We’ll do the rest of the work for you.”

“Thanks. Bye!”

“This shape is called an OVAL. Spell the word with me:

O, V, A, L.

Oval.

It seems like you guessed first. Well done if you have excellent guessing skills. Now, we’re going to do some colour combining. I have on my desk a blank piece of paper. A blank, white piece of paper. I also have some black paint. Let’s try putting black splodges on the white to see what it makes.

There, it’s now black and white. Let’s imagine the paper is another world. There. A blank canvas, waiting to be drawn on. Now, we’re going to do some magic to find out what happens when the black joins onto the white. Everything will glitch out and turn into something else when I say the word:

Beanbrussles.”

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“Now it’s patterned just like a cow. I wonder who’ll come to admire this beautiful colour connection?”

“Hey there!”

“Resus! Hello, Resus. What do you think of the colours?”

“They look AWESOME! In fact, I think vampires used to steal cows for once, it’s a well known fact.”

“So your brother Luke stole a cow once?”

“Luke isn’t a vampire, he’s a werewolf!”

“I forgot! Luke is a werewolf! Now, how does seeing black and white make you feel, Resus?”

“Black, and white! Black, and white! Black, and white! It makes me feel like dancing the day away!”

“The combined colours of black and white put you in a joyful mood all day. It’s what makes Resus truly happy. This also happens in movies in the ‘50s, when everything was all building blocks and baby rattles.”

“What?”

“Er…nothing, nothing. We haven’t got time to hang around with you long, we’ve got more things to learn. Goodbye, Resus!”

“Bye!”

“Well, Resus did like black and white, didn’t he? Yes, he did. Now, I’ve brought in two lucky young volunteers to show us what sound a cow makes. We’ve drowned out their voice boxes so that they can only communicate in sound effects. That may sound a bit too harsh, but I thought this’d be a perfect opportunity to play a listening game with you. Here are three buttons on the desk, each with a different animal sound. Does this sound like a cow?”

Quack, quack, quack!

“No, it sounds like a duck. Does this sound like a cow?”

ROOOOOAAAAARRRR!!

“No, it sounds like a lion. Does this sound like a cow?”

Mooooooooo….

“Yes! It does sound like a cow. Onto our volunteers!

This is Honey. And this is Chloe. They can’t speak just at the moment, but if they open their mouths, they’ll produce a noise. That noise comes from a bovine creature that produces milk. I bet you know who that bovine creature is: it’s a cow. Honey, can you make a low, deep mooing noise?”

Mooooooooooo!!

“Good job, Honey. How about you, Chloe?”

Moooooooooooo!

“Now, let’s see what they sound like together.”

Mooooooooooo!

“Oh dear. This really does ring in my ears. Goodbye, you two.

Now, we’re going to end this programme with a life lesson or two. That life lesson is told from the perspective of our siblings here. Hello, you lot!”

“Hello!”

“There are three main reasons why you are born to be friends.”

“What are those, Mrs Narrator?”

“One - from the moment you were born your monster friends are your siblings. You may not live by blood, but you’re still family. You make a great team, and stick together no matter what. You can do anything you set your mind to if you think about it. Two - if you are ever separated, there are millions of ways to remember each other, and if you reunited, this is something to remember. And finally, being a friend means there are no rules to life. You can do whatever you want!”

“Yeah! Woohoo!”

“Alright, I know you’re excited, but it seems you are all tired out from such a time learning. There’s only one thing for it, a….”

“GROUP HUG!”

“Aaaaaww, moments like these always bring me to tears. I’m going to take to my piano now to play you a lullaby. Goodbye, everyone. See you soon, friends!”

“Goodbye, Mrs Narrator!”

“Twinkle twinkle little star, 

How I wonder what you are.

Up above the world so high,

Like a diamond in the sky,

Twinkle twinkle little star,

How I wonder what you are…”

GOODBYE.